I had a bit of surgery this morning, which has left me laid out in bed for a couple of days. Fear not, good readers! I have films and flicks to keep me busy and…un-bored! I can’t promise that I won’t pass out during one or all of them (pain killers), so my reviews will be most likely based on partial viewings of at least a couple films. Also, “review” may be a tad…completely wrong. They’re more just reactions to the movies the moment I watch them. If I pass out during one that I actually want to go back to, I’ll let you know. Ok, that’s enough jabberjawing…To the theater!
First up:
Teen Wolf (1985)
This is one of the many movies that my parents had to be absolutely sick of when I was a kid. They’d say, “what would you like to watch?” I’d respond with, “Team Wolf!” I was worried it wouldn’t hold up, but I was wrong. That wiener at the end is weird, though. However, still a great movie, and I stayed awake thru the Percocet!
Troll (1986)
Well, this is an odd one. I really like the special effects (very 1986), but the noises are a bit much. If you have trouble listening to people eat, avoid the kitchen scene in the beginning of the flick. Special note: the two main male characters are both named Harry Potter…oh and Elaine from Seinfeld is in it it…Plus there’s a gross little troll running around messing with people. I’m fairly sure he turned them into elves and faeries, but I did pass out after my 2nd dose of pain killers…
Rawhead Rex (1986)
This one had its moments, but overall a bit boring. I was a bit surprised when I realized it came out in 86. I thought it was 79-82 at the latest. Worth a watch if it’s easily attainable, though, just for the monster.
No Retreat, No Surrender (1986) [Rifftrax Edition (2015)
Cheesey as hell. JCVD isn’t in it all that much, so I was a bit bummed, but the lack of actual acting makes up for it.
Demon Wind (1990)
A bit of an Evil Dead feel. Worth a watch if it’s lying around.
Trespass (1992)
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Really liked it. No boring origin story that we all already know. Just right into being Spider-Man. Keep em coming, Marvel.
Navy Seals (1990)
No clue. I fell asleep after the Charlie Sheen bicycle riding montage.
Hard Target (1993)
Stars Jean Claude Van Damme, directed by John Woo (debut), and co-produced by Sam Raimi…Want more? Also stars Lance Henriksen as the antagonist who hunts people…still more? Wilfred Brimley and Ted Raimi….JCVD’s mullet.
Raw Deal (1986)
So-so. I was in and out, typing on the laptop, and downloading NES emulators to my phone. I did nod off twice, but they were those instant wake-up narc outs that just disorient you for a couple of minutes.
Unfocused Media 